Spanking - Grilling A Sacred Cow (Part 7)

The Savior

It has been said that as parents we spend the first two years of a child’s life teaching them to walk and talk and the next twenty years trying to make them sit down and shut up. But spanking done properly drives deeper than external behavior. It realizes that sinful external behavior is the fruit of a sinful heart. And only God is powerful enough to change that sinful heart. Rectifying behavior is a nice byproduct and a superficial goal. But if we approach discipline with an eternal perspective we will see something much bigger.

Every time that you discipline a child and every time that you decide not to discipline a child, you are telling that child something about God and you are hardwiring into that child lessons about God that are going to be there for the rest of the life of that child. (Russell D Moore – The Purpose Driven Paddle audio)

The heart of biblical discipline is to teach our children about God. It teaches them that sin has serious consequences. It reveals that sin is the fruit of their sinful nature and it cultivates a hunger for righteousness. Now we simply aren’t powerful enough to make our children righteous, but our loving discipline done right will point them to the only source of true righteousness – the Savior Jesus Christ.

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God (IICorinthians 5:21 ESV).

So don’t avoid that sacred cow called spanking. Trust the Maker’s Manual and
take it by the horns!

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Spanking - Grilling A Sacred Cow (Part 6)

The Scriptures

The big picture that hangs above this discussion is the authority of Scripture. What is most alarming about “Christian” parents who refuse to spank their children is not a low view of physical discipline, but a low view of Scripture. When you hear a friend utter the words “I know the Bible says this but . . . “ you can be sure that the rest of the sentence will be irrelevant. IITimothy 3:16 tells us that “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness”.

You might have seen the popular bumper sticker with the words “God said it, I believe it, that settles it!” But the fact of the matter is that when it comes to the necessity of physical discipline in child rearing – God said it and that settles it whether we believe it or not!

Concludes Friday with part 7 - The Savior

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Spanking - Grilling A Sacred Cow (Part 5)

The Straw Man

A “straw man argument” is when an opponent’s position is misrepresented and then argued against. Modern psychology has employed this tactic to great effect in distorting what Scripture says about physical discipline. Heated rhetoric is often deployed in an attempt to portray the “rod of correction” approach to discipline as one of violence, anger, and physical harm. Many churchgoers buy into this lie and shun what Scripture clearly teaches. Author Tedd Tripp sheds much needed light on what the “rod” really is:

The rod is a parent, in faith toward God and faithfulness toward his or her children, undertaking the responsibility of careful, timely, measured, and controlled use of physical punishment to underscore the importance of obeying God, thus rescuing the child from continuing in his foolishness until death (Shepherding a Child’s Heart p104).

The godly parent understands that healthy communication works hand in hand with physical discipline. He never disciplines out of frustration, anger, or revenge and never to inflict physical harm. Famous Bible teacher John Piper had these profound words to say “you don't damage a child. You don't give him a black eye or break his arm. Children have little fat bottoms so that they can be whopped” (http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/AskPastorJohn/ByTopic/104/3594_Would_Jesus_spank_a_child/). Godly parenting sees spanking as a biblically mandated and integral part of lovingly raising children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord”. Better still is the joy of reconciliation that follows the satisfactory punishment of rebellion.

Physical discipline is merely a shadow of the discipline that God metes out to His children. In fact, Hebrews 12 tells us that discipline from our Heavenly Father confirms that we are His children. What better way to reflect this truth to our children than by discharging our God ordained duty as parents who lovingly discipline.

Continues on Wednesday with part 6 - The Scriptures

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Spanking - Grilling A Sacred Cow (Part 4)

The Stakes

So how important is it to deal with the sinful nature? According to Scripture, the stakes are huge:

Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death (Proverbs 19:18 NASB). The imperative to discipline “while there is hope” certainly implies that a time is coming when it will be too late. “Do not desire his death” – it is clear that God sees discipline as a matter of life and death.

Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Proverbs 23:14 KJV). Not only is discipline a matter of life and death, but physical discipline has eternal ramifications.

And if you love your children too much to spank them then consider this verse: Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24 ESV).

So why should spanking be an integral element of disciplining our children? Because God said so – that’s why!!!

Continues on Monday with part 5 - The Straw Man

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Spanking - Grilling A Sacred Cow (Part 3)

The Sinner

Recognizing our sinful nature should be a big no-brainer for any parent. It’s why doors have locks, banks have vaults, and jails are full. The Bible teaches that sin is transgression of God’s law (IJohn 3:4) and the Ten Commandments express this in our thoughts, words, and deeds. They reveal that our offences against God run much deeper than we can imagine, leaving all of humanity guilty before God (Romans 3:23).

The root of the problem goes way deeper than our sinful behavior. Scripture does not teach us that we are sinners because we sin, it teaches us that we sin because we are sinners. It is our nature. Nowhere is this more evident than in the lives of our children. We never have to teach them to lie, covet, rebel, or act selfishly - our little “angels” are all born with a PHD.

Continues on Sunday with part 4 - The Stakes

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Spanking - Grilling A Sacred Cow (Part 2)

The Stronghold

When it comes to child rearing and discipline it would seem that modern psychology has hijacked the discussion altogether. The general thrust of this approach is aimed at building a healthy self esteem in the child rather than pointing out the error of his way. There are only two problems with the philosophy of self-esteem; one, it’s unbiblical and two, it doesn’t work (other than that it’s ok). Nowhere does Scripture teach us to have a high view of self. In fact it consistently teaches the exact opposite. Proverbs 3:5 tells us to trust in the Lord with all our heart and not to lean on our own understanding.

Many secular “experts” insist that all forms of of physical punishment are abusive and seriously injurious to the psyche of the child. Some even claim that parents should use no form of negative correction with children – positive reinforcement alone is sufficient, they say. Scripture says otherwise. In fact, the Bible prescribes corporal punishment and says it is a necessary element of parental love. (John Macarthur – The Fulfilled Family p118-119)

Why doesn’t self-esteem work? It doesn’t work because it fails to recognize what lies at the core of human nature . . .

Continues on Friday with part 3 - The Sinner

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Spanking - Grilling A Sacred Cow (Part 1)

Have you ever seen the image of some sacred cow in an Indian village wandering aimlessly and unrestrained? The hungry villagers know the cow is there. They know that steak tastes good, but they would rather go hungry than rock the Hindu boat. To those of us who profess Christ the image is both offensive and ridiculous . . . . . or is it?? Do sacred cows roam the pages of your Bible, ignored and left alone? Are there doctrines you would rather leave untended? Do you shudder at the thought of wrestling with the hard truths of Scripture? Do you use Wite-out for a highlighter pen?

The prevailing wind of Modern Christianity has been a “consumer driven” approach to teaching and preaching. Potentially divisive subjects are either ignored or pushed to the sidelines in the pursuit of a doomed marriage between Scripture and Social Science. This consumer driven churchgoer is more comfortable hearing about hunger than hell, would rather focus on AIDS than abortion, and would sooner hear the virtues of self-esteem over spanking when it comes to raising his children.

It is this issue of spanking that has become a sacred cow in many modern churches and has become a subject so sensitive that many preachers just will not touch it. The Bible speaks explicitly on the subject so why the radio silence from the pastor in the pulpit to the person in the pew, and why has the discussion been blacklisted when parents compare notes? I believe it's high time that this sacred cow got carved up and grilled and served with a side of open dialogue!

Living in Europe it is seen as a huge taboo and something that secular humanist philosophy invalidates (by continually searching for and never finding any evidence for the innate goodness of man). Over the coming fortnight we are going to look at my six "s's" of the biblical case for spanking. The Stronghold, the Sinner, the Stakes, the Strawman, the Scriptures, and the Savior. Yes, I am a graduate of the Rick Warren school of alliteration and am very proud that I managed to begin each section with an "s".

Continued on Wednesday with part 2 - The Stronghold

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