God's Design In Marriage (Part 3)

Continued from Monday . . .

That leaves one final person to talk about. And if I don’t talk about Him then none of this can make sense. Everything I’ve said so far hinges on both husband and wife understanding how Christ loved the church and I am inadequate to ever fully explain that. But it would be wrong if I didn’t try to give you some small glimpse of His amazing grace. To tell of the great love of my precious Savior. The Bible tells us that Christ’s love was revealed by dying for a people while they sinned against Him. You see if we don’t understand our sin we cannot understand Christ’s love.

Did you ever wake up in the morning and wonder “where did all the stars go?” Did they all just disappear? No – but we only ever see them shining in their glory against the background of a dark night sky. And the cross of Jesus Christ shines in its glory against the dark background of our sin against Him – and it was only when God helped me to see the awful darkness of my sin against Him that I could start to see the depth of His love for me in sending Jesus Christ - and this has everything to do with marriage!

Sin is so offensive to God, not only because of how evil sin is, but also because of how perfect God is. Good judges can never ignore crime. How much more can God never ignore every time we break one of his laws. If I lie to my daughter she can do nothing to me. But if I lie to my wife I’m going to be sleeping on the sofa. If I lie to my boss he can fire me and if I lie to the government they can throw me in jail. Did you notice that it was the same crime but when I did it against a higher authority the consequence became more and more severe. How serious is it to lie against an infinite authority? It is an infinite crime and that is why there is a hell.

I used to ask how can a loving God send people to hell? But then I realized that I was asking the wrong question. The right question was “how does God put up with me?” And there are times in marriage when you’ll be wondering “how can I ever put up with her” or “how can I ever put up with him”? Those are the times when you need to look in the other direction toward the cross and remember how much mercy God gave you and how He calls you to reflect that love to your sinful partner.

If you really see the dark night sky of your own sin then the question you will ask is this – How can God ever forgive me without violating His goodness and justice? How can He be both just and the justifier? How can He save me from the hell that I deserve? There was only one way and that is why He is the only way - it would cost Him everything! The God Who created the universe had to become a man, Jesus Christ, and live a perfect life keeping all of the laws that we have broken. He then had to die on a cross as a substitute, suffering God’s holy wrath that we deserve. God treated Christ as if He had lived our life so that He could treat us as if we had lived His - if we repent from our sin and cry out to Him for mercy.

Let me ask you – is God’s grace really amazing to you? May God’s amazing love be the fuel that keeps the fire of your love blazing for your spouse. May you always look in the direction of the cross when you don’t like what you see in the direction of your partner. Never move on from the cross. Dive deeper into it full of awe and wonder so that the wife's submission to her husband, and the husband's love for his bride will be a shining star of the resurrected Jesus in a very dark world.



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God's Design In Marriage (Part 2)

Continued from Friday . . .

Now for the men! In case you're confused - we're the ones who don't look as good! As a husband you are called to love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave His own life for it. Years ago in my Air Force days I can remember the day that my ultra feminist, commanding officer came walking towards me with steam coming out of her ears. Some of the guys I worked with had told her about me, that I was a Christian, and that I didn’t think that husbands should treat their wives as equals. That was fuel on her fire! In a voice that sounded like a volcano that was ready to blow, she asked me “Is it true that you don’t think women should be treated equally?” I looked that woman straight in the eye and told her that what she heard was true because real men don’t treat women as their equals, they treat them better than themselves.

Nowhere should this be more true than in the marriage relationship. Maybe you will never be called upon to give your own life for for your beautiful bride – but you’d better be willing to! And I can guarantee you that you will be called upon to die to your own agendas and desires in order to serve your wife. Yes your wife is called upon to submit to you - in all things! But remember also that her husband is called to be a servant and not a dictator. I’d be lying if I told you that I always do this right – but it is the goal that I must always aim for – always chasing it though never fully reaching it. So that is the other side of the picture that you and your wife are to present to a world that doesn’t know God. You are to portray Christ’s servant heart and sacrificial love for His church in the way you love your wife, and she is called upon to submit to you in complete devotion portraying the church’s submission to Christ. This is God’s design and plan for men in marriage.

Concludes on Wednesday . . .

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God's Design In Marriage (Part 1)

Some of you might be thinking – hmmm what could Cameron possibly know about marriage, after all, I’ve only done it once and that was ten years ago! But in reality it is a very fair question to ask of me. Who am I to speak on a subject of such great importance. The only reason I’m willing to speak here on this subject is because of my Maker and His Manual. I’ve come to learn that He speaks with authority on every subject in the Bible and this includes marriage. And I’ve come to learn that His advice trumps Oprah every time. God is always right about everything – hey, it isn’t arrogant if it’s true! So my answer to the question is that I can speak with authority purely because God speaks with authority through His Word and God is so kind that He made His Word knowable for a simpleton like me.

The God Who made the universe also designed marriage. He knows how it works and He gives clear counsel on how to make it work. This is because marriage is an earthly picture of Christ’s love for His Church. The book of Ephesians tells us:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33).

The wife is called to submit to her husband just as we are called to submit to Jesus Christ. This verse is very unpopular in “modern Denmark” and many try to deal with it by ignoring it or denying it. I think we should try and understand it because the One Who made woman, and knows what is best for her, gave the Bible to teach her everything she needs to know about everything. To understand God's calling for a wife, she needs to see the big picture in this – and it is something very glorious!

The Scripture teaches that the church is the bride of Jesus Christ. It is made up of all the people who have repented from their sin and trusted in Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul wrote that “there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3:28). So first of all we know that the call to submit does not categorize the wife as someone of lesser value, but rather someone different in function. Secondly, we see that she is not called to submit to other men in her role as a wife but to her husband, and that he belongs to her. His body is her possession. Thirdly, submitting to her husband is not about slavery. It is about a devotion that is so great that it paints a picture to the rest of the world of how devoted the church is to Jesus Christ. This is God’s design and plan for the wife in marriage.

Continued on Monday . . .

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