I Married Above My Pay Grade

It is a tragic fact that too many popular questions are built on too many wrong premises. I can clearly remember RC Sproul being asked “why do bad things happen to good people?” Sproul responded immediately, profoundly, and simply; “that only happened once and he volunteered!” Our preoccupation with the quest for fairness often buries the fact that God is not fair. Furthermore, the good news of God’s unfairness is a truth lost on too many who profess to know Him. If God was preoccupied with fairness then He would have crucified me.

I have to confess that this reality has become all too easily forgotten by myself, a man with whom the Creator has dealt so graciously. It is a reality that should inform my approach to marriage. It is one thing for God to grant me a wife who is way beyond my pay grade. It is another to fail so abysmally in my duty to love her as Christ loved His Church.

I was once asked if the Bible had much to say about being a husband. The answer to that question is that it doesn’t and it does. Before anyone hurls the nasty accusation of postmodernism my way, please let me clarify. In one sense the only instruction the Bible gives husbands is to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. But this single instruction then unpacks into the infinite depths of exploring Christ’s love for His Church.

I am currently on a plane over the Atlantic as I write this. The twelve hours since I kissed my beautiful wife goodbye now seems like twelve days. This solitude has left me wounded with the deep conviction of my failings as a husband. Why would God bless me with such a beautiful and godly wife? How could I take His immense kindness so much for granted? Where is my devotion to the pursuit of loving my wife as Christ first loved me?

All this points to my constant need for the Gospel. To be found in the Savior. To have His righteousness imputed to my account. To get on the phone as soon as possible!

I’m already counting the days until I see you again Majbrit. Thank you for the honor of being your husband. May God, by His Spirit, conform me more to Christ!